Taylor Swift For President!

If you haven't noticed, Taylor Swift is in the news 24/7 lately. The reigning Queen of Pop turns 35 in December. This milestone comes just after the dust of the presidential election settles.

If the stars had aligned differently and she was born in spring, I'd nominate Taylor for president! Given that our choice this November comes down to picking the lesser of two evils (as usual), tossing Swift’s hat in the political ring doesn't seem too far-fetched, does it?

The Swift Rise to Stardom

You know the story. As a young girl from Reading, Pennsylvania, Taylor Swift strummed her way into the hearts of millions. With her guitar, golden locks, and confessional lyrics, she didn't just climb the ladder of success – she practically flew to the top (with the help of Nashville songwriting pros). 

From a country music darling to a global pop icon, she's been as unstoppable as her Eras tour. Swift’s not just a pop star; she's a cultural phenomenon. Her songs resonate with millions, turning listeners into loyal Swifties who’d probably vote for her in a heartbeat.

Rooting For the Anti-Hero

Here we are, having to choose between Pops Biden and Agent Orange. How the hell did we get here? At the risk of enraging the Magaites, Trump had no business being president in the first place. How he beat Hillary Clinton in 2016 is a mystery to many, but then Trump didn’t win as much as Hillary lost by ignoring Bill’s advice and not campaigning in Michigan and Wisconsin until it was too late. 

And we know what happened after that. Now, we’re stuck with President Biden. Seriously? He's got no business being in the White House either. Face it: he’s wandering around looking for the outhouse (with apologies to my Democrat friends). 

We can do better than that, no?

Waiting in the wings is Taylor Swift – a ray of light in a sea of political darkness. Why not Taylor? She's got the whole package: charm, intelligence, and a knack for storytelling. Don’t forget, her army of Swifties could easily double as a voter base. 

Imagine a candidate who can articulate their policies as clearly as Taylor can belt out a tune, a president who can navigate international relations with the same finesse she handles paparazzi. In a country gone wrong, Taylor Swift could make politics more tolerable, if not entertaining.

Swift’s Campaign Slogans and Policies

Picture this: Campaign posters with Taylor Swift, guitar in hand, and slogans that hit the right note. “Shake it Off People," or "Make America Swift Again!" MASA….well, perhaps not. And her policies? They’d be as catchy as her chart-topping hits.

First on the agenda: "The Love Story Act." This policy aims to spread love and acceptance, like her fairytale romance with Kansas City Chiefs star tight end, Travis Kelce. It's politics with a heart, something that's been missing from the debate since George Washington was running the show. 

Then, she’d propose the "Bad Blood Resolution," focusing on mending fences and building bridges. With Taylor at the helm, diplomatic relations would be less about saber-rattling and more about harmonious collaborations.

Bold ideas, though we’d probably be asking, “Where’s the beef?”

Diplomacy with a Melodic Touch

Swift international summits would look more like award shows, with red carpets and dazzling performances. As President, Taylor wouldn’t just enter a room; she'd make an entrance. Her approach to foreign policy? Think "You Belong With Me" but for countries. She'd be all about building friendships, understanding, and maybe even serenading a few foreign dignitaries.

Gone are the days of stiff, awkward handshakes. Taylor would bring warmth and genuine connections to the table, solving international disputes not with Trumpian tweets or Bidenesk mumbles but with heartfelt lyrics and maybe a group sing-along.

Swift’s global fanbase could double as a network of goodwill ambassadors, spreading the ethos of love, respect, and catchy tunes. It's a world where diplomacy is less about power plays and more about making connections, one melody at a time.

A Swift End to Political Gloom

While the idea of Taylor Swift running for president is admittedly bizarre, it's a pleasant diversion from the usual political fare. A leader like Swift would be a welcome respite in a nation that seems to have lost its way. It reminds us that politics, at its core, is about connecting with people – something Taylor does exceptionally well. 

For now, Taylor Swift will rule the music charts - and Kelce's heart - instead of the free world. But who knows? In politics, stranger things have happened. Meanwhile, don’t forget to hold your nose and vote for the candidate of your choice come November 5th.